dickweenie
by Jim from IT
Summary: Sherlock leaned in close to John's luscious ear and whispered seductively "Jawn. Jawn. I'm inside of you," Sherlock paused most dramatically "With my dick-weenie." Sherlock finished with a flourish.


John gasped in a breathy manner as Sherlock flung open the door to 221b, the walls reverberating from the force of it. John placed his hand delicately over his fluttering heart as Sherlock stomped his way up the stairs, each thundering step making him jump wildly in his seat. With an equally breathy gasp John clutched his laptop to his chest as Sherlock kicked open the door at the top of the stairs with an enticing "Ooowah" John's eyes opened wide as he took in the wildly wind-swept man before him. Sherlock's hair was blown forward, making him look like a mysterious Pomeranian. 'That is the most arousing Pomeranian I have ever seen.' John thought lustily as he uncertainly lowered his laptop from his chest. "Hullo Sherlock." John all but whispered, his voice cracking in several places as he gulped loudly.  
>Sherlock smirked crazily, which isn't really a good thing for a person to be doing, the top six buttons of his shirt unbuttoned as he stalked forward. Each of his steps had a certain bounce in them, making it seem like Sherlock was skipping instead of walking.<p>

John had never been more aroused.

Sherlock stopped directly in front of John, who tucked his knees into his chest and clutched the laptop in his hands like your mom does the last slice of pizza.  
>Sherlock observed John predatorily, his blue-green-grey eyes smoldering as John looked up at him helplessly. 'I would have babies with those eyes.' John gushed mentally, a loud mental sigh following the thought.<br>"Sherlock." John whined. "Jawn." Sherlock crooned back, his voice silky and rasping as he turned his coat collar up with a ringing "Vwip." John writhed lightly in his seat as he observed the scintillating thing occurring before him. His laptop clanged loudly to the floor as his hands fluttered up to his throat in shocked arousal.  
>Sherlock grinned, the expression scandalously seductive. John writhed harder. With a deep, sonorous growl Sherlock jerked John from his chair and hoisted him above his wind-swept head. John gave a soft "Shreee!" of displeasure and flailed his limbs in the most obscene and provocative of ways. With a dramatic and absolutely fantastic twirl, Sherlock kicked the door behind him closed before whisking off to his bedroom, John still held aloft.<br>John swooned momentarily as Sherlock bent the door to his manly will. He resumed his struggle shortly after, emitting a shrill, keening "Eeeeeee." The sound was music to Sherlock's pale ears. Sherlock lobbed him unceremoniously to the bed . However, Sherlock overshot and John sailed into the wall, meeting it with an almighty 'thud.' John's heart fluttered. Sherlock brushed his wind-swept hair out of his pallid face.  
>"Sorry," He stopped to settle into a sumo squat "Guess I don't know my own strength."<p>

John's man-carrot had never been more rigid.

John undulated against the wall as Sherlock strode cockily (HAH) over to where he sprawled and grabbed him by the elegantly arched foot. With a deafening "Fwup." Sherlock tossed John onto the beatifically ruffled sheets. Sherlock purred smugly. John a certain swagger in his lope, Sherlock launched himself towards the bed, his coat flapping about him. John writhed against the sheets, his cock-willy rock hard and dripping as Sherlock's elbows dug into his liver when he landed. John's back arched as Sherlock's knees battered his own painfully.

"ShErLoCk." John tittered. "Jawn." Sherlock wailed back erotically. With an earsplitting growl, Sherlock mushed his lightly muscled thigh between John's nicely shaven knees, his own dong equally hard. John squirmed and undulated beneath Sherlock, his bit writhing and wriggling. John moaned continually, the sound keening and unbroken as Sherlock slathered his face with spit-laced kisses. With a desperate wail John dragged Sherlock's lips to his own, their tongues meeting in a carnal fight for dominance. John won after a long, hard 18 minute battle. There was spit everywhere. So much spit. Losing his patience, Sherlock ripped off John's shirt, buttons flying everywhere as he turned those spit-laced kisses to John's pert, vibrant nipples. Sherlock groaned appreciatively, his slong throbbing with abandon as John sucked on the tip of his nose. He looked down at John through thick, luscious lashes and could see the desperate, frenzied, unabashed need in those blueberry colored eyes. Sherlock's loins ached.

John knew what was to come (LOL) and writhed with joy, his hips bucking erratically as Sherlock rustled about in his coat pockets. Impatient with the pace Sherlock had set, John ripped off his own trousers, the fabric ripping with a sound incredibly similar to that of a toot. Sherlock paused in his rustling, his vibrant bluegreey eyes meeting John's blueberry one's briefly. "I didn't toot." John swore solemnly, blinking rapidly. Sherlock leaned in close to John's face and growled out seductively "I believe you." John swooned some more. When he came back into consciousness it was to a loud, incredibly smug "Aha!" as Sherlock withdrew a bottle of jam flavored lube from his crazy pockets. John felt hot tears well in his eyes as he looked at Sherlock in wonder.  
>"You remembered." He whispered adoringly. "Of course I did." Sherlock replied snidely, ripping his own pants off. Sherlock's willy was exquisite. John almost swooned, but managed to stop himself in time. Although, his stomach did explode with moths. Moths, not butterflies. Butterflies aren't manly enough. John's man-carrot gave a painful throb as Sherlock slathered his junk with the deliciously goopy jam lube. Sherlock leered down at John, his cheekbones even more prominent than usual.<p>

"I'm going to sex you now Jawn," He paused, his tongue flopping out to wet his plump lips. John watched the action raptly. "And I will keep my coat on." Sherlock purred into John's voluptuous ear, grabbing John's chiseled ankles as he did so. John screeched softly in response, his wiener dripping his love juice against the smooth, muscled planes of his tummy. It was Sherlock's turn to swoon. And he did. John watched smugly, letting out a victory whoop as Sherlock's eyelids fluttered everywhere. Sherlock's cheeks turned as red as a crab and he swayed uncertainly with embarrassment before positioning his winkie at the opening of John's butt.  
>John's victory whoop quickly turned into a whoop of raw aching desire and he flopped his knees open elegantly as Sherlock's junk pressed against his butthole. Sherlock hissed gleefully. John gave a squeak of abject wonderment. Sherlock hissed some more as John's butt all but gobbled up his love muscle. John did some more undulating and wriggling. Sherlock had never seen a more erotically enticing sight in his entire life. Which is saying something. Because he's seen a lot of erotic things.<br>Sherlock leaned in close to John's luscious ear whispered seductively "Jawn. Jawn. I'm inside of you," Sherlock paused most dramatically "With my dick-weenie." Sherlock finished with a flourish. John couldn't help himself. He swooned. He swooned hard. He swooned so hard he came with a screeching wail and accidentally punched Sherlock in his smug, beautiful face, cutting his hand in the process.

Sherlock grinned smugly before flopping forward and rubbing his chest into John's love juice, splooging with a screech of his own as they writhed and wriggled and undulated as one. John found the agonizingly erotic sight of his love juice on Sherlock's chest so erotic he jizzed twice. All sweaty and gross and covered in spunk they fell asleep, Sherlock morphing into John's side as they fell asleep. Sherlock was smug.

A John/Sherlock fanfiction by Moriarty


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